Daughter
by Bookflower
Summary: 17 years have passed since the end of Lady Knight. 15 years have passed since Raoul disappeared. 14 and a half years have passed since Buri bore his daughter. Now he returns to find a changed Tortall, and a daughter he has never seen.
1. The Stranger

Disclaimer: I don't own anything already creater by Tamora Pierce, so anything you recognise isn't mine.

AN: This idea came to me when I was reading a Fanfic where knights were captured. I began thinking about if a well known knight, say Raoul for instance, disappeared long term... More importantly I began considering the story of his child, who had never glimsped her father... I really do want to know what you think! And to think, I've been an avid reader all my life and only 6 months ago discovered fanfiction.

Chapter 1

I breathed heavily, settling the lance into my firm grip. People told me I take after my father in the joust. I have heard so many stories of how he was unbeatable, of Lord Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak, of the Knight Commander of the King's Own, of Raoul the Giantkiller, of Raoul the Jouster… Or, at least, people told me until I asked them not to. They didn't understand that I didn't want to be 'Raoul's daughter'. I wanted to be myself, and 'myself' wasn't anything to do with the father I didn't know. He hadn't been there to shape my life, so why should he get the credit for it?

I was jolted from my thoughts as the lance hit the practice shield. I barely noticed the charge anymore, aimed subconsciously. People told me I looked like my father when I charged – determined and focused. What would they say, I wondered as I turned my horse around, if they knew I thought about anything but the target?

I was turning my attention to the rings of wood that you're supposed to spear on your lance, when I heard someone applauding at the edge of the practice courts. I disliked anyone watching me practice, but all the same, I was used to it. How could I not be when I was the famous Raoul the Jouster's daughter?

I was simply going to ignore the observer. The rings took all the concentration I had, especially since I had taken Lady Knight Keledry's advice and started used a willow ring. His clapping might annoy me, but I was sure his praise would annoy me more, just as I was sure of the fact that if I acknowledged him, he would gush those aggravating praises at me.

I was just about to begin the canter when he spoke.

'You're good. Most girls your age wouldn't have the strength to lift that thing, let alone hit the target shield with it, and right in the centre. Mind you, I do know some exceptions…' His voice drifted off into a low chuckle, although I'm sure that there was as much grief in it as humour. 'You'll want to aim lower, though, if you want to unhorse them.'

I turned then. I could ignore him no longer. My eyes blazed: if I took unkindly to being praised, I took even less kindly to being advised. Who was he to tell me how to joust?

I was confronted with the second tallest person I've ever set eyes on, the tallest having been Numair, the realm's own black robed mage, also regarded as highly handsome. Of course, I had never seen him in his prime, seeing as he had died when I was five. I had felt no grief over his death – I'd never really known him, and at five, I was really too young to understand. I knew the palace was devastated though - Daine on the day of his death was a sight that haunted me still, and I had seen my mother try to cope with a missing husband for eight years.

I took in the rest of his appearance at a glance: he was extremely well muscled, and his short black hair covered his head with curls. However, I was equally quick to notice the grey streaks in the dark hair, and the worn state of his breeches and shirt.

If there was anyway I could had remained seated on my horse whilst I greeted him I would have taken it, as his height, even though I was considered tall, was intimidating. And there was no way I could avoid greeting him now that I had turned. However, there was not a way to remain on my mare, so with reluctance, I consented to be intimated.

'Sir.' I stated as I dismounted. However disdainful I was of someone who tried to correct my jousting, a noble must be treated as a noble, and presumably this man was; however shoddily dressed he was, because no commoner would dare to comment on my style, let alone be allowed to. 'If you'll forgive my impertinence, my jousting is my own. Sir'.

The coldness in my voice was unmistakable. My wording may have been polite, but tone made it clear that he and his opinions were not welcome. I wasn't afraid to insult a noble, after all, I was half K'mir, and the K'miri weren't a people that bowed to authority.

To my surprise, his only response to my obvious insult was to raise his dark eyebrows high. However, I was sure that I saw a grin in his coal black eyes, as, to my displeasure; he strolled across the court to the rings.

If it were possible, his eyebrows rose even higher when he examined the ring I was using, and he glanced at me appraisingly. 'Willow?' There was disbelief in his voice. 'Only one person I've ever known uses willow rings.'

He was right – Lady Knight Keladry was the only person, excepting myself, to use them. However, my mind was more occupied with the fact that he claimed to have known her.

'Yes, Sir.' I replied, some of the coldness gone. Although I hated to admit it, this man was starting to intrigue me. 'Lady Knight Keladry of Malorie's Peak.'

He blanched when I said her title, although why eluded me. His eyes were now fully focused on me, and a frown creased his brow. There was confusion evident in his dark eyes now. 'Malorie's Peak?' He repeated, and I couldn't read his tone. Was it disbelieving, confused, or even angry. On second thoughts, I decided that it wasn't angry – it was slow, low, and still sounded far too easy going for its owner to be enraged.

However, now I was as confused as he sounded. Why had the title affected him so? 'Yes, Sir. Lady Knight Keledry and Lord Domitan are the Lord and Lady of Malorie's Peak, Sir.'

He still looked bewildered, but snorted as I said the latter part of the sentence, muttering with a grin, 'If you could ever call Kel a Lady. Or is Dom the Lady and Kel the Lord?'

I was even more confused by this comment, although I realised it had not been meant for my ears. 'Kel and Dom?' I thought to myself, perplexed. Only a close friend would address them so informally…

As I looked up, I saw the grin disappear from his face as his brows drew together once more. He took a step towards me and said, more anxious now, 'What happened to Buriram Tourakom? Why didn't the titles go to Buri?'

I was sure there was even a hint of desperateness in his voice now, but I had stopped paying such careful attention to him. He had stepped onto dangerous ground by mentioning my mother. Family was not a subject I talked easily about, if at all. My few friends soon learned that family was a forbidden subject matter when I was around, although none of them blamed me for it.

The cold edge had returned to my voice when I answered him. 'Surely you heard of the controversy, Sir?'

'Controversy?'

I frowned; he must been gone from court for a long time if he didn't know what had happened. And I wasn't willing to explain it to him. It was far too near the subject of my family for me to mention. For years I had even avoided my own title for fear of the discussions it produced, and even now, I preferred just to go by the name of 'Lia'.

'Over the titles of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak, Sir.' I did not want to be in this discussion, but for the life of me, couldn't see a way out of it.

If he had been gone that long though, surely he didn't know who I was. Maybe he had just come to watch a girl joust; maybe it wasn't because of who my father was. The idea was new to me; everyone knew who my father was, but all the same I revelled in it. It was nice not to be judged on my father rather than myself. After all, he didn't appear to know, and I saw no reason why I should tell him…


	2. The Past

A/N: Here is the next chapter, I'm so sorry that there has been such a wait. My school work caught up with me in the form of a Macbeth essay with a very short deadline that, however much I try not to, I'm writing far too much for. I'm not sure how this chapter worked, it was very difficult to write, so opinions are ver much appreciated. Thanks ever so much for everyone who did review. It meant a lot to me, and I have tried to make Lia's character more realistic.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything belonging to Tamora Pierce. This includes everything in the Tortall universe that you recognise. The plot and Lia are my own, however.

Chapter Two:

'What happened to Buri?' He repeated, taking a step closer. It wasn't in a threatening way, more that he was concerned, and yet I couldn't help but take a step back.

'You really don't know.' It wasn't a question, if he was asking about Buri Tourakom, he couldn't have known. The whole of Tortall knew about the Goldenlake family.

He just looked at me; his eyes full of… despair? Such an appearance of strength was on the outside, but internally, what was this man going through? And why was Buri so important to him? I had to look away from those eyes though. Not only were they pitiful, but they reminded me too much of myself, and I could not look into them when I talked about my mother and father.

And I would talk about my mother and father, for however much it hurt, I could not deny those eyes… They were far too much like mine six years ago.

'You know of Lord Raoul's disappearance?' Where was I to start explaining…? So much had happened, yet never before had I had to tell anyone about it. Before now, if anyone asked, I just turned away, my eyes full of ice, because if that ice wasn't there, there would be pools of misery. And those asking would have known the story anyhow… Even now my tone was distant.

My eyes were turned away from him, but it could not escape my notice that a strange expression came over his face at that. It was almost a crooked grin, accompanied by a soft snort. However, the pain in his eyes was still very much present.

'Yes, I know about that.'

He was still shaking his head slowly following that answer when I replied. After all, I wanted this over with…

'Buriram Tourakom wouldn't accept the titles, Sir.' When said out loud, it sounded so simple, and yet in my head it was a tangle of emotions and thoughts that I had never really tried to straighten out.

'What?' Again, he looked extremely puzzled; not angry, just bewildered.

'She said she was of the K'miri Hau Ma, Sir, and nothing in the world could make her a Tortallan noble.'

'Stubborn as always, eh?' Was his muttered response, and served only to bewilder me as well.

Suddenly, realisation seemed to dawn in his eyes as they widened. 'What am I doing here?' (I assumed that that wasn't for me to answer.) 'Take me to her.'

A sense of command had entered his voice, but I was going to have to refuse. No-one could see Buriram Tourakom, and, to be honest, no-one had tried. She had made it perfectly clear she wanted nothing more to do with Tortall, and with the country regaining its feet after the resignation of an honoured King, no-one had got the chance to persuade her otherwise. And then, then it was simply to late… She'd gone.

'No.' Such a simple statement, but it made such an impact on his face. His brows creased, and for the first time, I was sure I saw a hint of anger in his eyes. If I wasn't so caught up in my own tangle of thoughts, I guess I would have been worried. This man just didn't seem like the sort to get annoyed easily – he was far too easy going.

As it was though, right then, I can't say I particularly gave much importance to what he felt. Maybe he wanted to see Buri, maybe he was desperate to see her, well, I felt the same…

Who was I joking? 'The same…' There was no way that man's distress was anywhere near equal to my own. She was my mother! And yet I couldn't see her… Hadn't seen her, for six years! He was only a lone knight, who claimed to have known her, but he couldn't have. If he had, he would have known that she wasn't here to be seen.

'No?' He repeated; incredulity in his voice. 'I'm sorry, I must see Buri.' To any other statement, disobedience wouldn't have been imaginable, not to that voice. However, in the circumstances, it only proved to infuriate me.

I shocked myself then. Tears were starting to form in my eyes, but I had to stop them falling. I was not weak.

So I replied with the most disdain, sarcasm, and coolness I could muster.

'Of course my lord my see her. Forgive the impertinence, I had not realised that one was prepared to travel all the way to Sarain.'

I didn't sound cool and distant though. I sounded angry, upset, and even slightly hysterical, and that was just to my ears.

I did not blame him when he froze. After all, I had been extremely rude, but it was only when he gasped that I realised what I had said.

'Sarain?' He gasped, frozen. His eyes were wide, and his jaw hung open.

'Sir, I'm sorry. I did not mean to-' I was cut off as he sat himself heavily upon the fence, his hands running through his hair. Eventually, he came to a halt, with his shoulders shaking, his head in his hands.

'Sarain, no… No! No, not Buri… Sarain…'

I took a step towards him, awkward in the company of his grief. I'd never seen anyone except from my mother seem so inconsolable, so distraught.

He raised his head fractionally. 'Just a visit?'

He didn't need to say more. I heard the hope in his voice. Oh, how I wish it had just been a visit…

I turned my head away. Whoever, this man was I was starting to realise just how important Buri was to him, but that wouldn't make her come back.

He must have heard the answer in my voice as soon as I started speaking, for his head dropped again, silently this time though.

I really didn't know how to phrase this. He was in so much pain. Of course I was as well, but I had had six years to come to terms with it, this man had just had the news sprung on him by an uncommunicative, resentful teenager.

'The disappearance of her husband, um, it… really, well, affected her. People say she was never the same after. It caused her great distress. She, erm… Then, after Queen Thayet died…'

Here the man's head rose, his eyes stared towards mine. Apparently that news was a shock too.

'It was seven years ago.' I carried on trying to explain. I owed it to this man. No-one deserved to be told that someone they obviously cared about had gone in such a manner that I had told him.

'Buri and her, they were close. I guess, it was, um, just too much for Buri to take. The two people she cared about most were gone… She tried, but she couldn't cope. Too much had just gone so wrong. She, she went to Sarain, six years ago, to, to get away…'

My speech had been interrupted by sniffs from me, but my audience had listened silently. I couldn't bear to look into their eyes, for I knew the depths of grief I would see there if I did.

And I had my own grief to deal with now. My mother had lost the two people dearest to her and left. What conclusion was I to make, therefore, other than that those people had been more important to her than her daughter?


	3. The Titles

A/N: I am so so sorry for the wait. I had been overwhelmed with homework and good books, so sorry! I know this is sshort, but I felt that it was right that I posted something after such a long wait, however short it is.

Disclaimer: I am not Tamora Pierce, and I don't own any of her creations. I do own Lia, however, and the plot...

Chapter Three:

I turned away from him. I didn't know what more to say. To me, there was no more to say. There was no comfort. However much I longed to I couldn't tell this man that it would be okay, that she would come back, that everything would work out fine. I couldn't tell him, because it wouldn't be okay. Anyone else might have been able to stutter those lies out, but not me. It never would be okay for me. And I couldn't deceive myself that it would.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as a sob tore from the man's body. Of course, I didn't think the least of him for crying. Anyone knows that I'd cried enough.

'Tell me it's not true.' Between sobs, his deep voice was pleading, begging with me. I'd never felt so cruel. All I could do in an effort to comfort him was sit on the fence myself. It was a futile attempt.

Nothing could comfort such grief. I should know. I'd felt that grief, still was feeling it. It wasn't so sharp now, less like a gaping stab wound in my side, or maybe my body was just numb now, maybe my body just didn't notice the stab wound any more. But sharp or not, that was a wound that would never heal. And I had just stabbed this man. He was never going to be the same.

There was no point me even trying to answer his plea. He knew the truth.

His face was crumpled in his hands, his body wracked with despair. Never before had I appreciated how Kel and Dom and all the others must have felt. I was in their position now, feeling unbearable pain, but having to overcome it for someone else.

And now, in my mind, I had decided that this man was worth overcoming it for. Buri was obviously extremely important to him, however long he had been gone from Tortall. If someone had meant that much to my mother, and my mother to them, then surely I should give them a chance.

'Sir….' I began, unsure of what to say, what to do.

However, even as I considered my options, he began to try to breathe deeply, calming himself. He gritted his teeth, and refused to sob. I could see the muscles on his neck straining with the effort. As he seemed to get his grief under control, he looked at me with his dark eyes. There I saw something I never want to see again – utter and complete hopelessness. For a brief second, I wondered whether people saw that in my eyes, before shoving the notion away. I had a hope for my life, my future. Maybe my mother and father weren't in it, maybe that hurt, but I still had a life stretched in front of me, and I was going to live it. This man looked like that very life, that very hope, had just been torn up. He looked like there was nothing to live for anymore.

I desperately wanted that look, that utterly hopeless look, to disappear from his eyes, even if it meant talking about my past. So, I continued.

'Sir, the titles…'

He put his head into his head again before replying.

'Yes. Buri…' He seemed to almost choke on her name. He sighed deeply. 'Buri didn't take the titles, the fifes… They were hers, but I guess I should have known she wouldn't… Sarain, though…' He trailed off into his thoughts, his voice filled with pain. It was a long time before he spoke again, seeming to have recovered himself.

He seemed to address me again, 'So Kel and Dom got Malorie's Peak. Must say, I'm pleased they're a couple. Took them long enough…' He trailed off once more, almost a hint of amusement in his voice. In fact, if the situation hadn't have been so dire, I would have sworn that he sounded pleased. However, I knew enough of pain to suspect he was simply trying to distract himself.

Yet again he regained his composure. This time though, he turned to face me before speaking. His eyes had lost that hopelessness, and I could tell that this was a man used to dealing with loss, with suffering, with grief. It was there, of course it was there, no-one could totally recover that quickly, but this man was accomplished at hiding it. His eyes were now hard, determined as he spoke.

'What happened to Goldenlake?'

That was the very question I had hope to avoid, the very question I did not want to answer, so even now, I skirted it, deciding that Kel and Dom weren't half so painful to talk about as myself.

'Yes, Kel and Dom were given Malorie's Peak. They had given great service to the crown, and it was decided they were the best people for it. After all, it had been awarded to Lord Raoul for bravery, it wasn't hereditary, and following Lady Knight Keledry's acts in the war, it was the least the crown could do to give her and Dom a fife of their own.'

'Goldenlake though?' He pressed. I sighed. Obviously he wasn't going to give up. 'Who got Goldenlake?'

There was only one answer I could give to that, the truth. So, resigned, I told him.

'The only child of Buriram Tourakom and Lord Raoul: their daughter.'


	4. The Daughter

I'm so sorry that this chapter took so long. But here it is! At last! Thank you ever so much for the reviews. They really do spur me on.

Disclaimer: Nothing in the universe of Tortall belongs to me, except Lia and Ren so far. Everything else belongs to Tamora Pierce.

Chapter Four:

He stared at me, shock widening his eyes.

'Child?' He eventually blurted. 'Their daughter?'

It hadn't escaped my notice that his face was completely drained of colour, any appearance of shock before was dwarfed by this. His voice was utterly disbelieving, and yet again, why eluded me.

He rose suddenly, before facing me again. 'There's a child? Really? A daughter?'

His voice, although shaky and breaking with apparent shock, had risen almost to a shout by this point. Having been surprised by his reaction, it was all I could do to nod, wondering whether I should have told him I was that daughter.

He spun away from me, only showing me a glimpse of the anguish on his face. 'Mithros… But of course…Buri was pregnant. A daughter… I should have known. How stupid can I be?'

I could only hear the occasional words, and what they revealed did nothing to reassure me, just as his tortured voice did not.

He spun back to face me. 'A daughter? And she's alive?' He clenched his eyes shut as I nodded. 'Mithros…'

His eyes opened again as he pleaded, 'Her name. I have to know her name. Her name?'

I didn't have the heart to refuse him. His reaction had not only surprised me, but scared me, if I was honest with myself. I'd been faced with many different people, all with different feelings for the only daughter of two heroes, training to be a knight, but never, never, in my 14 years had I come across emotion as strong as this.

'Her name, Sir, is Lady Jaliarin Tourakom of Goldenlake.'

'Jaliarin…' He breathed, almost as if he was savouring the word before returning to his desperateness. 'Where is she? I have to see her. Take me to her. Please… Take me to her!'

He grabbed my shoulders as he repeated himself as if to impress upon me the imperativeness of seeing me, not that he knew it was me he wanted to see. In response I froze. But it was not in response to his touch, more to his words. It was the time now when I either had to tell him who I was, or lie outright. And I did not know what to do.

I could not face to lie to him, to tell him that I wasn't in the Palace. Not in the face of his desperateness. I didn't know why he was affected so deeply, but it was obvious that he was hurt, and badly. I could not, would not increase that hurt. And, I was curious. Who was this man, who felt such a deep connection with my family?

However, overriding other emotions was fear. I hated to admit it, but his reaction had deeply scared me. What did he want with me to make him so desperate?

And this fear and confusion made it impossible for me to work out the best plan of action there and then. My mind had gone blank and my throat had closed up. All I knew was that I couldn't carry on with it. This man had thrown everything I knew into the realms of uncertainty, and the shock that accompanied that made only one thing clear to me – I wanted to get out of that situation.

So I took the one path of action I could find no excuses for at all. I fled. I could not lie to him, I could not tell him the truth, and therefore, I could not face him at all. It was irresponsible and inexcusable, but yet it was the only thing I could decide upon doing. So I simply turned and walked away.

I could hear him calling behind me, asking me to come back, but I did not turn, and he did not follow. I had given him important things to think about, and however much he might want to know more, he had a lot to ponder on.

I found that I now needed a quiet place to think, and I knew I would not find that inside the palace. Instead, I slumped behind the stable wall, out of sight. However, it was not out of hearing of the practice courts. I thought nothing of it at first, believing that the man would move into the palace. After all, it appeared he had just returned after a long spell outside Tortall, and the natural place to go was the palace.

These thought, however, disappeared as I heard a very familiar voice call out, assumedly directed to the man I had just left.

'Sir. Can I be of any assistance?'

I would have recognised that cultured accent and pronunciation anywhere. I peered around the corner of the stable to check my belief, and found it to be true. A boy of my own age now stood before the man, his straight black hair and deep sapphire blue eyes marking his bloodline clearly. The stranger obviously recognised it as well, as he gasped 'Conté…'

'Yes,' the boy agreed. 'Renjiro of Conté, son of his majesty King Roald and Queen Shinkokami. '

They bowed to one another, as courtesy dictated, before Renjiro, or just Ren, as he was know to his friends, enquired softly 'You seemed in need of assistance, Sir. Can I help?'

'Your Highness, thank you. I must speak with the king and any other important council members present. Sir Alanna, Gareth the Younger… There is a matter of some importance to discuss. Firstly though, if you'll forgive me, I must know where Lady Jaliarin Tourakom of Goldenlake is. Thank you again, your Highness.'

'Jaliarin?' Ren questioned, confused. I tensed, knowing what his response would be and the source of the confusion. 'But, Sir, unless I am mistaken, you were just talking with her.'


	5. The Consideration

Disclaimer: I don't own anything belonging to Tamora Pierce. That includes Tortall and all its characters. So far, the only things I own are Lia and Ren.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. I really do appreciate it. And I am so so so sorry for the wait with this chapter. My life has suddenly become more busy than usual, especially with important exams really soon. So please accept my apologies.

Also, I'm not particularly happy with this chapter. It was really difficult to write, and northing seems to happen. However, you do find out quite a bit more about Lia.

Finally, does the scene with Ren at Lia's door remind any of you of anything? Similar to any situation in the one of the books perhaps… I wonder if you know what I'm talking about…

Chapter Five:

I lay on my bed, my head buried in the pillow. It was extremely unlike me, at least in the past five years it had become unlike me. That man had made me face many memories I had not wanted to face, and the things I thought I knew for certain were thrown into uncertainty by his reaction. But it was the strength of that reaction which had scared me so, as if he truly knew my mother. But if he knew her, why didn't he know me?

When Ren had told him who I was, I expected him to try and follow me. He had demanded to see me with such urgency in his voice, yet when he discovered my identity he just stared in the direction I had taken. Stared, with an unfathomable expression in his dark eyes.

I was starting to vehemently regret not telling him who I was, starting even to debate going back to him when Ren softly spoke.

'Sir. You requested an audience with the King?'

Slowly the man had nodded, his eyes still fixed upon the path I had taken.

'If you would follow me, then, Sir.'

I was pleased that it had been Ren who had chanced upon him. As a prince of the royal line, he had developed the art of diplomacy from a young age. Royalty could not afford to offend anyone. And this stranger needed someone who wouldn't pry, at least, if he was anything like me he did.

After I had watched them leave, I stayed behind the stable wall awhile, before returning to my room. It was the summer break, so I didn't need to go to any lessons, and most of my friends were in their home fiefs. I always stayed in the palace. I may have been the Lady of Goldenlake, but it had never felt so much like home. When my mother was around we lived in the palace, and as my guardians now did, I did also.

My guardians: Lady Knight Keladry and Lord Domitan of Malorie's Peak, Joint Commanders of the King's Own. Many people had questioned the decision to make them Joint Commander, but they were overruled. Kel had trained as squire with the King's Own, had talent for commanding, and was accepted by the men in general. Dom also was, having been with then since the age of 15. They also worked impeccably as a team.

King Roald had decided on them taking my guardianship, as they had both been extremely close to my mother and father. They, therefore, could understand what I was going through. I got the feeling from stories that Kel, especially, had almost been like a daughter to Raoul, and I don't think I ever quite forgave her for it.

It sounds harsh, but Raoul was my father, and yet I never had that relationship with him. I had never even met him. She, on the other hand, well, he was almost like a father to her, when he should have been a father to me.

I didn't really hold it against her. In a way, I was pleased for her, but all the same, there was still a part of me that was so awfully jealous.

However, them being my guardians didn't make them my parents, and it was evident. Their job often took them away from the palace, and although they felt guilty about leaving me, I had assured them it was fine. Whenever they were gone, Shinko had taken me under her wing, making Ren and me practically siblings.

All of my 'careers' - parent, guardian, or anything else - made sure I could handle a weapon from an early age, but it was Kel who introduced to training with the pages. After all, she was close friends with the training master.

Not surprisingly, I was a withdrawn girl. My father had disappeared before my birth, and my mother, eight years later, decided she couldn't cope, and departed for Sarain. So when Kel and Dom became my guardians, they tried to find a way to let me be myself, to let my feelings out. Kel succeeded.

At first, I was shy around the pages, all at least two years older than me. However, gradually some started to befriend me. By ten, I had a firm group of friends, and had been living a page's life for practically the whole two years.

A knocking at the door to my room brought me out of my thoughts.

'Lia? Lia, you're in there?'

I sighed and shut my eyes. I did not want to talk to Ren right now.

'Lia, I need to talk to you.'

I was going to have to answer him, so resignedly, I did.

'Ren, I don't feel like talking right now. '

'Please, Lia… Open the door?'

'No. Just go away, okay?'

There was a pause before he replied, and when he did I noticed the change in tone of his voice immediately.

'Open the door, Lia.'

It was still soft, quiet, but it was the voice of someone who would brook no refusal. It was the voice of a prince, issuing a command. And as such, I had to obey. Ren may have been my year mate, my friend, practically even my brother, but he was still a prince, and I was his subject.

However, the fact that he actually commanded me, told me just how desperate he was to speak with me. He didn't like reminding people of his position, especially his friends. He just wanted to be one of us.

So it was more, perhaps, for that reason, than the fact that he commanded me, which resulted in me getting off of my bed and opening the door for him. He stood outside, looking extremely uneasy. As soon as he saw me, he frowned in consternation.

'Lia,' he began, looking unsure of how to begin.

'I've got to tell you. Um, you know that man you were talking to, in the practice courts, this morning?'

I sighed heavily; I really did not want to discuss this now. I was confused enough about it all already. Before receiving my confirmation, however, he continued. 'I spoke with him after you; he asked to see my father. I took him, but before I'd left, he, ah… He said something, Lia. I only caught the name, but… He, he said something about Lord Raoul, about your father.'


	6. The Friends

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tortall, or an of its features including characters. So far, the only things I own are Ren, Lia, the name for Gary's son (since it was non specified) and the plot. **

**A/N: I have to make a huge apology and beg for your forgiveness. It has been a massive wait since my last update. I never ever meant for it to be so long, but then I found myself in the midst of exams and fanfiction was pushed from my mind. I am truly sorry! Thank you all so much for waiting patiently. You all are amazing. Thanks for the reviews. Seriously, it means so much to me to get them all. Again, you are all wonderful. **

**Finally, I feel so stupid about that typo last chapter. It was meant to be 'carers' not 'careers'. Thanks for pointing it out to me. **

**And now, finally:**

Chapter Six:

I leaned on my elbows and stared at the plate of food that Ren had shoved in front of me.

'Come on, Lia,' he urged. 'You've got to eat.'

I raised my gaze to meet his eyes. It had been a long time since we'd gone through this. I hated him seeing me like it, but all the same, I was used to it. He had seen me at the lowest I had ever been, just after my mother had left. I hadn't left my room for a week then.

'Alright, alright,' I muttered.

'Good.' His voice was soft with concern, but as he continued I could heard the traces of a laugh. 'I didn't want to have to order you again.'

Although it was the summer, and all of the pages were supposed to be at their home fiefs, there were always a couple of us who still used the mess hall for our meals, especially lunch. I didn't know what the others did about dinner, as I always ate it with my guardians, if they were home. If not, I usually joined Ren and the royal family for dinner.

I was welcome to eat in the King's Own mess. After all, my guardians were the joint commanders. It was jolly mess, full of noise and laughter, but I often didn't feel like eating there. It was too noisy and I never felt that comfortable around the men, however well I knew some of them.

Evin Larse, commander of the Queen's Riders, had even told me I could eat with them if I wanted to. My mother had once been their commander, and so I guess Evin was obliged to. But then again, Evin Larse wasn't the sort of man to be bound by obligations. Perhaps he just felt sorry for me.

I was just starting to eat my lunch and Ren had completely finished his when his eyes focused on something over my shoulder and a grin leapt to his face. I spun around quickly, only to find myself facing a tall gangly youth with slightly curly black hair tied back and blue-grey eyes.

'Rikash!' I exclaimed, a smile leaping to my lips too. 'How was your visit to Pirates' Swoop?'

'Yes, how was it? And Sir Alan is still a wonderful knight master, am I to understand from your letters?' Renjiro added.

'Ah, I'm sure I stole the best knight master there is to be had,' Rikash answered as he swung one leg over the bench and sat down facing us. 'One of the best reputations, and he's easy-going. It was a good visit, thanks, Lia. The word is the King is planning on my lord accompanying the next delegation to the Copper Isles.'

His eyes flickered to Ren as he said the last part, no doubt wondering whether Renjiro could confirm it.

Rikash was another 'practically brother' to me. His mother spent almost all of her time at the palace, and even when she didn't Rikash was usually left behind. His father, Numair Salamin, had died when he was six, so I guess, in a way, he understood me better than Ren ever could. On the other hand, I've never spent as much time with Rikash as I have with Ren, as I had needed a warm family to surround me at that point, and Rikash hadn't really got one right then. He was nine, his older sister Sarralyn was ten, and their father had died three years earlier, leaving Daine to look after them both. Of course she had help, but it was still a very difficult time for her.

Sir Alan of Pirates' Swoop was Rikash's knight master, son of the Lioness and former King of the Thieves. Unlike Ren and me, Rikash was already a year into his squirehood, whilst we were in the summer before it started.

However, both Renjiro and Rikash were considered extremely good looking, whether they were young or not. Renjiro was reasonably tall, and, although slim, had quite a strong build. He had, of course, inherited the Conté blue eyes and coal black straight hair. However, marking his Yamani descent was his olive skin.

Rikash, unsurprisingly, looked very different to Ren. He had inherited his father's stork-like trait, being tall and gangly, with long limbs. His hair was black as well, but slightly curly and tied back into a horsetail. His eyes, however, were his mothers – blue-grey. Also from his father was his tendency to be slightly over-dramatic.

I supposed that I was the envy of many noble girls, having those two handsome young men around me. To me, though, they were just great friends and almost my brothers. They'd always been there for me, and that can't have been easy. They took care of me when I needed it, and were always protective. I adored them both.

Undoubtedly, Rikash had noticed that something wasn't normal – he had learnt to be very observant – but like a perfect gentleman didn't comment on it, engaging Ren and myself with tales of his 'adventures' with Sir Alan.

Rikash hadn't had much trouble last year in securing himself a knight master, and we shouldn't have had any this year. All the same, it was three weeks into the summer holidays, and I still didn't have one. It wasn't from lack of offers, although I hadn't had them a plenty. It was because I'd refused them all. The conservatives were still wary of a Lady Knight, so I hadn't really had many offers from them. However, it was a different case for the progressives. Not only was I another girl attempting her shield, but I was the daughter of two of the most important, respected, and firm progressives the Kingdom had ever been home to.

People thought I was slightly crazy for refusing the offers, but I didn't agree. They all wanted to be my knight master because of my parents. I wanted to chosen for who I was, not for who my parents were.

Ren, unsurprisingly, had gained a knight master in the first week after our big exams. Sir Francis of Naxen was 12 years our senior and the son of Gary of Naxen, the current Prime Minister. As default he was trained in his father's profession, to inherit his position. This wasn't mandatory, but it had almost become a tradition for the Naxens' to be the Prime Ministers to the Contés. However whilst his father was still Prime Minister, Francis was enjoying the ability to still be an active knight.

By the time Rikash stopped talking, we had all finished eating and were all standing up to return to one of our chambers to continue the conversation when Sir Merric of Hollyrose strode into the mess hall followed by a palace servant. Merric was the training master of the pages, having replaced Sir Padraig HaMinch. His command over troops at Haven had recommended him for the job.

'Lia,' he said, striding over to me. As it was the summer, he could address me informally. 'Lia, His Majesty is requesting to see you in his office, immediately.'

'Thank you, my lord.' I glanced over to Ren, my brows creased, only to see that he had had a similar reaction. He shrugged slightly at me and Rikash, seeing my concerned look, smiled reassuringly. 'I'll be on my way, sir.'

I walked quickly towards the King's office, puzzled. It wasn't that I was afraid of the King. No; he was too much like a surrogate father for me to be afraid. However, I was worried. Why did he want to see me now? Did it have anything to do with that man I saw earlier in the practice courts?

Of course it did, I told myself. But more importantly, did it have anything to do with what Ren told me – that he knew something about my father?

I quickened my step.

When I reached the office I found Dom waiting outside for me. He was smiling. It was a broad grin, a truly happy grin. It should have been carefree, but there was something in it - worry, perhaps, concern, and maybe confusion. I wasn't sure what, but there was an edge to it. All the same his eyes were sparkling, like they did when he was teasing Kel.

'Lia,' he said softly, but I cut across him before he could get further.

My voice sounded very tense and harsh compared with him.

'What is it?'

Maybe it even sounded panicked.

He sighed, and I frowned even more.

'Lia, there's something… It's going to be surprise Lia, but there's something we have to tell you.'

'Just tell me, Dom,' I pleaded with him.

'Wait just a minute, Lia.'

I was opening my mouth to speak again when he bent down slightly to put his mouth close to my ear, and said, a grin evident in his voice, 'It's a good thing, Lia. Trust me on that. It's an amazing thing.'

There was no not trusting Dom when he spoke in that voice: it was so reassuring, so certain. It was the voice that made him a good commandeer, a good flirt, a good husband, and a good father.

On that note he opened the study door and pushed me very gently in in front of him, before closing the door.


	7. The Announcement

Disclaimer: I don't own anything belonging to Tamora Pierce. That includes Tortall and all its characters. Anything you don't recognise, including Lia and plotline, is mine.

A/N: I know this is a tiny, tiny chapter and I'm sorry. However, I feel so, so, so bad for not having updated for so long, and at such a crucial moment in the story. Therefore, I decided to give you a very short chapter and finish it at the appropriate moment rather than taking longer and including the reaction to that announcement. I will update soon though – I am now on the summer holidays. They only started about four days ago – yay!! Now I have six weeks off school, work-free! Much more time to write… Oh, wait a minute, I do actually have work. Grrr… Art coursework… However, I do have much more time to write. I really shall try to get the next chapter up before I go away in a week. I can't keep you waiting that long as I know you'll all what to know what happens.

Chapter Seven:

It should have been intimidating to be standing before the king in his office. However, that was lost on me, having been treated almost like his daughter for as long as I could remember.

As such, my gaze wasn't captured by him, but by the man standing just behind him. His eyes fixated on me as soon as I entered the room, and they hadn't left me since. Tall, dark haired, dark eyed, this was definitely my… acquaintance from earlier.

I would swear that there was almost awe in his eyes as he looked at me, and I didn't have a clue why.

It was then that I realised that alongside him stood Sir Alanna, Sir Sacherall, Sir Douglas, Sir Gregory, Baron George Cooper, the former king Sir Jon and Sir Gary. It was evident that if Kel had been at the palace rather than with the King's Own, she also would have been present. It was quite a strange gathering. Most of the people were high ranking, but they wouldn't necessarily be in a meeting together. It only served to increase my apprehension.

My attention was broken as King Roald began speaking.

'Lia… I've never had to deal with a situation quite like this one before. Firstly though, could everyone leave, please?'

My heart rate increased slightly. There could have been no reason for that unless this was something very important. It also did not escape my notice that whoever that mysterious man was, he was not leaving.

I turned my head slightly as I realised that Dom was leaving along with the others. There were few moments when I actually felt like he was my father as opposed to my older brother, but this was one of them. I shook my head slightly, my eyes imploring him not to leave.

King Roald must have noticed, as he said 'You can stay if you like, Dom.'

To my relief, he did.

I hated feeling this helpless. I had no clue what was coming, except that it might have some link to my long gone father. And that was the one subject, excepting my mother's disappearance, I didn't want to discuss. Some might have said that never having seen him in all of my fifteen years should have made it easier to let go of him. Trust me on this, it didn't. I guessed there were just times when you are helpless and nothing can be done about it.

'Well, I suppose the best thing to do would be to introduce you to my… friend here.'

Roald stumbled over the word 'friend' as if searching for a suitable term and failing to find one. However, he continued smoothly enough, with only one glance up at the man behind him. The most unnerving thing though was that that man's eyes had never left me.

'This,' Roald turned to the man and gestured to me, 'is Lady Jaliarin Tourakom of Goldenlake. Lia,' now he turned to me and his eyes were almost anxious, 'this is Sir Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak. Your father.'


	8. The Reaction

Disclaimer: I don't own anything belonging to Tamora Pierce. That includes Tortall and all its characters. Anything you don't recognise, including Lia and plotline, is mine.

A/N: Sorry! Oh, I am so sorry! I'm not going to start on excuses – I'm sure you're not bothered with them. But if you are still reading this, you are amazing! Thank you!

I had every intention of updating this a week after the last post. Instead, it's been just under six months. I guess Year 11 was more hectic than I ever gave it credit for. But the next update shouldn't take as long. I can't promise a date, but it will be coming.

I have actually had one of those moments that Lia describes in the first sentence. I'm not going to tell you what it was concerning, but basically, the point I'm making by describing it here is: if you've never experienced it you probably won't know what I'm talking about. If you have, you'll know. And if you're wondering, my response to some bad news that really shocked me, after that had just happened to me was 'Okay…'.

* * *

Chapter Eight:

There are moments when a thousand thoughts go through your head and you don't know what to think or what to do. I guess it's what usually is described as your head reeling. It was different from that to me though. Although there are a thousand thoughts you are thinking, the most coherent ones by far are: 'What? What on earth?'

What is someone supposed to think when the father they have never seen, who just about destroyed their life, who is supposed to be dead, just turns up after fifteen years?

I just stared at Roald and… that man… that man who was meant to be my, my, father, trying desperately to work out what I thought.

It wasn't a situation I had ever imagined myself in.

Sure, I'd worked out there was something up with… him, but my father? No, it was a thought that had never occurred to me. After having taken around twelve years to actually accept that he was dead, I didn't want to keep on thinking about him. And seeing men who could be him everywhere counted as thinking about him. So I had just trained myself to tune those thoughts out – my father was dead, he wasn't just going to randomly turn up.

Apparently I was completely wrong. He had just randomly turned up.

Having thought through just about every reaction in that mad couple of seconds when thoughts flooded me, I was left to outwardly react logically. Every emotional reaction had already taken place, just inside my head. Now I needed to move forwards.

'Okay…' I began slowly, ready to move on and find out more information about him, only to discover that calm, logical reactions had no place in such a situation. The reaction to news like that can't help but be emotional, despite efforts otherwise.

'What?' Without a thought, the word that was centre stage in my mind burst through my lips. 'What?'

My voice rose almost to a shriek as I turned around to try and leave. It was a situation I couldn't deal with. Only, I found that Dom's broad shoulders were blocking the doorway. He pulled me against him, ever the older brother.

'Jaliarin?' That man's voice sounded concerned as I felt a hand touch my shoulder.

My retort came almost out as a sob rather than comprehensible words. 'My name's Lia. Any father should what his daughter is called.'

In my head, I found myself almost questioning what I was doing. Shouldn't I be welcoming the return of my long-lost parent, the man I used to dream of? Instead I was turning my back on him… Turning my back on the only chance I would ever have to live somewhat normally again. But for me, now, living without my parents was as normal as it was going to get.

By this time, I was sobbing in Dom's chest, he having pulled me close.

'Lia, Lia…' He whispered in my ear, in a futile effort to console me. 'Lia… I know it's a lot to take in, but, give him a chance. Just do that, Lia. He would never have left if there was a choice. And Lia, if he's anything like the man he used to be, well, I wish he could have been my father.'

Having said his piece, he let my shoulders go and I pushed past him into the corridor, fleeing back to my room.

I was a coward. To be truthful, I always had been, I guess. For the second time that day I found myself on my bed, weeping. It wasn't like me. It hadn't been like me for several years. But whenever my life simply got to much for me to cope with, I found myself back here.

The door creaked open and I ignored it. It was only going to be Dom after all. He was my guardian – it was to him that the responsibility to comfort me fell. Actually, that was harsh. He would have done it anyway.

A hand rested upon my shoulder. As much as I was feeling awful, it wasn't Dom's fault and I wouldn't take it out on him.

'Lia?' A faltering voice questioned. 'Lia, I'm sorry. Oh, Mithros, I'm sorry. It's… Well, it's very surreal coming back after 15 years and finding everything changed – finding a daughter. I can only imagine what it's like for you.'

By this time, I had more than realised who it was and it most certainly wasn't Dom. I jerked upwards, in the process throwing my father's hand off.

'What are you doing here?'

But my question remained unanswered. He must have dismissed I as obvious and continued with his monologue, his tone pleading and begging with me.

'I didn't leave, Lia. I would never have left. I would have given everything, everything, Lia, to see you grow up. It wasn't my choice. If it was, I would never be so presumptuous to expect forgiveness, to expect a place back in your life. But it wasn't my choice.

'I was near the border with Galla when a raiding party attacked me. I had been stupid enough to travel alone – it was only a short journey. But they overpowered me and knocked me unconscious, I presume. When I awoke I didn't have a clue where I was, but more than that, Lia, I didn't know who I was. Every memory, everything that made me me was gone, just gone… You have no idea…

'I spent the next ten years as a slave, trying just to work out what my name was. It would have been so easy just to accept what they told me, but I kept seeing things. I kept seeing memories and the people seemed so familiar, yet everything about them eluded me.

'As much as I knew I knew them, I felt like I had never met them before. It was ten long, pitiful, hopeless years before I pieced it back together again.

'However, even knowing how I was, at last, getting back was another matter. Getting out of the slave trade is no easy business. I was in Carthak, and whatever Emperor Kaddar and Kalasin might do, a black market in people flourishes there.

'I'm not going to tell you how I got out. I did stuff that in any other circumstance I would regret, but being a slave is no life, especially when you were so much more. However to sum it up, a year ago I managed to get myself back on Tortallan soil. I couldn't have gone to Kalasin. My story was completely unbelievable, and, more than that, I was still working myself out. Maybe that doesn't make sense to you, but, it was true for me.

'And now I'm back. Lia, I don't expect everything to be wonderful. We've got a lot to work through. Both of us. But I want to work it out, and, I want to be your father. I haven't been here to fulfil that role for the past fifteen years, but let me now, please?'

I hadn't interrupted him, however much I wanted to at points. But, I had judged that I owed it to him to let him excuse himself before I said anything. However, now that the time had come, I didn't know what to say. I mean, what sort of things do people say in situations like that? It's not as if many people find themselves in ones similar to it.

So, I did what I'm famous for doing. I ran away. Not literally, but I did avoid the issue. In reply to him, I stammered: 'I… It's a lot, a lot, to take in. I need time. Um… Alone. I need to think. '

Then, for the first time since he had come into the room, I looked him in the eyes, and I pleaded with him to leave.


End file.
